Sunday, September 1, 2013

Tru3~~~M3nt@l~~~R38irth

True (Mental) Rebirth

Born with an eruption of red
Blood stained my hair
Blood spots everywhere
Skin of sweet milk

Italian violets
Sky of green
Grass of pink
Schools covered red from blades

Light burns your skin
Friend of former red
Same friend used to be yours
Did you say something?

I'm not clean
Women want too much
I don't understand them
But do I care?

I believe in crucifixion
I believe angels
I believe devils
I believe nothing

Did you choose to be that way?
Did you ever...
Sorry for asking
Friends with all other three

How did it end?
I see the dolphins
Watch TV at my house
Don't kill the dogs

Sleeping unexpectedly
Classroom with five desks
End it with only two
Though they are kept away

I don't know anything
Shadows help algebra
My calculator sucks
What ever happened to you

Is the pink really evil?
You're not confused
Purple, you're okay
There's no sanctuary anyway

No one ever wins
You know that?
Let's go
Something is moving

Nothing ends like this
I can't breathe
Was this really all my fault?
Suck it

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

B|o0dy~~~M3ntal~~~R3|aps3

Bloody (Mental) Relapse

Blood floods from the skin
Japan advertisement
Water rapes lungs

Bleachers stretched on tin
Nothing in attachment
Rooms spun in tongues

I'm only human
The Crow thumped my ear
How does he know that?

The rotting began
The retarded fear
The broken bones sat

It was to end
I knew it'd never
Can you see you're own pain?

You're just a friend
It's his endeavor 
Grass on all that is rain

You're both cruxified
You're both confused
You two are gone soon

They have died now
They have killed now
Letters and numbers now

It has to end
It was to walk
Who wanted this?

This would never
Hopes sold on TV
Judges found in the trash

Shut up and
Close your eyes
Stop your breathe

Saturday, June 22, 2013

D!$t0rt3d~~~M3nt@l~~~R3h@b

Distorted (Mental) Rehab

 Sands thirsty for blood 
 Uranus 

 He was a strange bat 
 It was him 

 Dirt clouds detroy eyes 
 I'm devil 

 Wanting women's love 
 Whose Angel 

 Closests were dark though 
 Rooms so cold 

 Of course, they're there now 
 We both grew 

 My skin is burning 
 Where's letters 

 Crucifixion next 
 Where's numbers 

 Wasn't it easy? 
 You sleep there 

 Was benevolent 
 But now dead 

 Was once malovent 
 But hated 

 He never knew it 
 Still should laugh 

 They misunderstood 
 Discard them 

 Walking endlessly 
 We're confused 

 He was with them 
 He was with him 
 I was with him 

 We both never won 
 I want to sleep 
 I feel it move 

Thursday, June 13, 2013

9@r@$!t!<~~~ ^^3n+@1~~~8r3{*60vvn

Parasitic (Mental) Breakdown

Never go back there stay

Never go back there beg

Skies became drenched my blood


What planet are from


Air clenches throat


Were out there too


They were after


Those rooms played


You're angel


All need sweet utter love


In closets were captive


Between beds gun powder sears skin 


There were once letters


Whose devil


Stress chews helpless flesh


Not you once good


Not I once bad


Few years passed just go


Zephyrs slice fingers


Little boy held blade to hair


Fade memories pain


Didn't I lose long ago


There were once numbers


Crucifixion sends tomorrow


See him walk no tomorrow


You are an evil

I am a confused

Friday, May 31, 2013

Mistakes

I'm a mistake
We're just dust in the universe
Even if there's a reverse
We're a mistake

Overpowered by stupid emotions
Love is a rose
Kindness is a sham
Hate is fire
Regret is death

(NOTE: I think I wrote this when I was unsure of my sexuality and that worked well with the clashing of my faith being lost too. I suppose the point was I was scared of being two things people in my society hated. Non-believers of Christianity and gays.)

Update: 5/31/13 (I Feel Different)

Okay, so...
I don't even know what to say...
Everything has been weird since school ended. I feel nothing from it ending like how everyone was cheering. I sort of found it to be a waste of time, you know,  if you don't have any friends and the friends you do have are not allowed to go to the part of the building you're in, or even if those friends are able to, they have better friends to say bye to and reminiscence with. I'm not trying to sound like I'm complaining, I'm just stating things as they go through my head. School ended on the 23rd, so my eighth day of summer.
I have summer classes. Not summer school, but classes in which I take to get credits and get stuff over with. It's sort of costly just paying for one semester into a month, but my brother is also taking it, so for two semesters each that's the price for four. Such a waste, but we all want it out of the way.

I'm cleaning out old binders. I found an interesting poem I wrote maybe 3-5 years. I don't even know what to say about that.

Saturday, May 18, 2013

Elegy from the Erasers


Unknown lies  /  Sad deceit
Libido turns  /  Platonic love
Your burns  /  The dove
Your pink legs next to my eyes  /  Bites from bed bugs in the fleet

The Crow echoes my ears  /  Arching at the Bat's tongue
Change and loss are my fears  /  Love's confusion at young
Stare at your profile  /  Everything here sears cold
No smirk or slight smile  /  You're there with no fold

Watch, stare, Tall Boy stun  /  Chat, talk, Lizard scales
Months pass by like a tool  /  Months go in Winter's Spring
Your arms in front of your gun  /  You're freezing, lacking details
Angelic in cold after pool  /  Nothing covers your skin from string

Run in my dreams  /  Dreams in the grave
Fly in my games  /  Games in the trash
Swim in the streams  /  Streams in your trave
Trapped in your names  /  Names in my thrash

We do everything together  /  Okay, only a little bit
"But not what we did"  /  "Knew it, though sort of"
The Lizard has a red feather  /  The Tall Boy has a green obit
You ignored my bid  /  There is no above

Goodbye, pink Crow  /  Goodbye, purple Bat
Hello, green Tall Boy  /  Hello, red Lizard

Monday, April 15, 2013

100th Views

As for my 100 views, I guess I'll do this sort of quiz so there'll be a way for people to know me. I do promise I never lie. And while I'm explaining things... what am I doing with my life?

SEVEN DEADLY SINS
WRATH
1. With whom did you last get angry?: ...Hard to say, I hide that emotion. I guess this boy, who got himself into secondary school, the one you go to when you do something so bad you're sent to it as a sort of reformatory, which seems to fail for everyone now, considering there is no homework, less people and are usually your friends, and you can use it to skip first semester exams. I got angry at him for going there, but then I happy, because it's rare for me to be angry.
2. What is your weapon of choice?: I suppose any object will do, unless given the choice of whatever. If given and receive in some way, I would choose a either a katana or twin blades. I'm terrible at guns and I used sticks as swords to fend off monsters from my dreams. Katanas would be used if I don't need speed, and twin blades would be used if I need speed. But my favorite weapon are sickles and scythes, though are useless until complete mastery.
3. Would you hit a member of the opposite sex?: To be perfectly honest, I feel apathetic, but I am a pacifist, so I will abstain, that is until I can't use defensive tactics. If push comes to a shove, nothing will happen, but if it comes to spilling blood on pavement, it's obvious we will defend ourselves right? I will retaliate on any gender, whether intersexual, female, or male.
4. How about of the same sex?: Look above, basically.
5. Who was the last person who got really angry at you?: That is a hard question. I can't tell because I have trouble finding people's emotions. The obvious like a red dot in a sheet of white I can tell, but I don't jump to conclusions, so I can't really recall.
6. What is your pet peeve?: Pretty much bigotry and deceit. That was easy.
7. Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily?: I believe people deserve chances after periods of time. I believe people can change, because I changed, people around me changed, and my old friends changed. I suppose I do hold grudges, but I try to forget about them or bring a compromise. The mentioned boy in the first question, I offered a doughnut after the end of a week if he didn't get in trouble with the principal or get detention, since I used to get free doughnuts.
SLOTH
1. What is one thing you're supposed to do daily that you haven't done in a long time?: Hmm... There's nothing I do daily I don't do.
2. What is the latest you've ever woken up?: By latest they mean waking up late, right? I suppose... 10:20 A.M.. Went to bed at 6:30 A.M. that day.
3. Name a person you've been meaning to contact, but haven't: I keep thinking about texting someone I like... I guess I'm just afraid, lazy.
4. What is the last lame excuse you made?: "I'll do it later... (after I forget about it)"
5. Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through (one of the long ones)?: Neigh, meaning nope.
6. When was the last time you got a good workout in?: Actually this morning in Physical Education. I have to get exercise, and we played football. The game you play with an ovoid-shaped ball with sharp edges with your hands.
7. How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock today?: Zero, I have to wake up early to wake the rest of the family.
GLUTTONY
1. What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice?: This cheap gallon of tea. Don't know the price, but it's affordable, even if you are paid minimum wage. It's the best ever.
2. Meat eaters: white meat or dark meat?: Red and bleeding... I'm kidding, I'm a lacto-ovo vegetarian, but if I had to choose I have to choose with which ever is nutritious, because I have to watch what I eat.
3. What is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one sitting/outing/event?: This is actually pretty funny. I didn't know the eggnog my aunt uses have alcohol, and she used it to make this gelatin, my favorite kind, when I was little. Never got drunk or felt a stomachache or anything, then again I don't know my limit, so I guess... at least a cup to a pint, or maybe even a quart, who knows. (at least 237 to 473 milliliters. A quart is about 946 milliliters.)
4. Have you ever used a professional diet company?: Nope.
5. Do you have an issue with your weight?: I'm not really worried.
6. Do you prefer sweets, salty foods, or spicy foods?: Some sweet tastes I prefer over spicy tastes, and vice versa so I guess this is vague.
7. Have you ever looked at a small house pet or child and thought, LUNCH?: Nope... What kind of question is this.
LUST
1. How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies/family)?: Uh... let me remember. I guess four to seven if you don't include my times skipping through Omegle. I think at least half was from public showers or public locker rooms.
2. How many people have seen YOU naked (not counting physicians/family)?: Uh... I think three.
3. Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a member of your gender of choice during a normal conversation?: Nope. I do scan people at the start of a conversation from habit, but I always stare at their eyes.
4. Have you done it?: Breathe? Loads of time. Even right now I'm doing it. I'm kidding, I do know what they mean by 'it' is and it's sex. To be totally honest... *You have lost connection*
5. What is your favorite body part on a person of your gender of choice?: I can't choose... The eyes or the navel. The eyes for their trademarks, but the navel because... I think I'm attracted to it like people have foot fetishism. Naval fetishism? 
6. Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute?: Nope. There's no prostitutes where I live, at least the part where I live.
7. Have you ever had to get tested for an STD or pregnancy?: Nope. I suppose I do need to get STD checks only to check myself when I do get older, but that would just be regularly and voluntarily, not in some need because of a broken condom or something. 
GREED
1. How many credit cards do you own?: Zero, zilch, none, and I'll probably get only debit cards when I do ever get cards.
2. What's your guilty pleasure store?: Uh... Gamestop I guess, or any garage sell with cheap Pokemon stuff... I love them...
3. If you had $1 million, what would you do with it?: Save it for college for my brothers, pay off debts to any cars I own and my mortgage or rent when I have my own place to live. Also use it for emergency, like a car crash or whatever. Maybe help out friends, but mainly my brothers, whenever they're in desperate need of money. 
4. Would you rather be rich, or famous?: Rich, so I can constantly help the poor and pay off my family debts. 
5. Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make megabucks?: Nope.
6. Have you ever stolen anything?: I stole the lives of many sperm cells when my twin brother and I went inside the same egg... Anyway, yes, who doesn't when they're young and foolish?
7. How many MP3s are on your hard drive?: ... Maybe a few. I use WAVs, and for that I guess almost a hundred.
PRIDE
1. What one thing have you done that you're most proud of?: I guess having the chance of life. The chance of having a conscience when many others don't, even if I was born weaker than my brother and deform. Even when I have to go through all this pain of surgery when I'm allergic to morphine. Even with screwed up taste buds.
2. What one thing have you done that your parents are most proud of?: After understanding the world's concept I began to get high grades, and maintained an all A grade on my report card for four or maybe five years.
3. What thing would you like to accomplish in your life?: Completing a 3D puzzle without instructions... And pay off the debts.
4. Do you get annoyed by coming in second place?: Nope, but what does seem to happen a lot is people in first place saying that I secretly care about it and then goes on bragging... Why do people do that?
5. Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors?: Er... I don't think so.
6. Have you ever cheated on something to get a higher score?: Yes, on spelling tests when I was in first grade... One word was nine, and I looked up to the number line above... teacher forgot to take it down. Ha.
7. What did you do today that you're proud of?: I don't know... Live?
ENVY
1. What item (or person) of your friends would you most want to have for your own?: My richest friend's allowance of hundred dollars almost daily... His guardians are well-trained doctors and they have three or four houses. 
2. Who would you want to go on Trading Spaces with?: Wasn't that a TV show? Either way, I wouldn't trade lives, that is when I got something I really shouldn't and  someone else deserve it more than me. Like the free doughnuts.
3. If you could be anyone else in the world, who would you be?: Myself. Without my mind, I wouldn't be here where I am now.
4. Have you ever been cheated on?: Actually yes. This ex of mine was bi-curious and he decided to get a girlfriend without telling me, and he even had the audacity to tell me he was having trouble handling with her after an argument. Everything's alright though. I even helped him get another girlfriend a while after they broke up.
5. Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own?: When I was little I wished to have a working and perfect left ear. And I guess some childish stuff like being able to dislocate my jaw and bring it back, but hey, I'm able to twist one foot 180 degrees due to my constant twisted ankles injuries.
6. What inborn trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself?: I don't know. Picture perfect memory.
7. Finally, what is your favorite deadly sin?: I guess... I don't know either.

SEVEN HEAVENLY VIRTUES
FAITH
1. What religion do you follow?: I suppose atheism with my own set of morals.
2. What religion were you raised as?: Catholic.
3. Do you believe that forgiveness is a religious property, or a human property?: Human.
4. Do you have your own commandments?: I guess so.
5. What was the last promise you broke?: I guess killing something... I'm killing lots of bacteria inside of my body.
6. Have you ever said the words to a prayer and not meant it?: I've only prayed a few times as a child, and whenever I did I actually meant it.
7. Do you believe that anyone could be perfect?: It is a matter of perspective, so nobody will ever really be perfect... except for edchinas.
HOPE
1. Did you get everything you wanted over the last holiday season?: I guess not, since I didn't care what I got.
2. Regarding your future, what is the best thing you could hope for?: To be able to have no issue with money.
3. Do you let yourself get your hopes up for something even if you know that there is a large chance of failure?: Considering all the times I gambled at Chucky Cheese, nope.
4. Freedom or fate? Freedom, because with it, you're bound not become what you not want to be, most of the time if logical in the situation.
5. Have you ever bought a lottery ticket?: Nope.
6. Do you gamble?: This is vague. With this question, I gamble to live everyday.
7. Have you ever had something called off on account of bad weather, but then gone ahead and done it anyway?: Nope.
CHARITY
1. What causes do you support?: Animal, children, equality, needy, stuff of the sort I guess.
2. What causes have you given money or time to?: The only thing I can give money to at the moment is the hospital donations for the hospital nearby.
3. Have you ever worked in a soup kitchen or done another kind of outreach for the homeless?: I did this toiletry drive. Also donated canned goods.
4. Would you ever consider joining the Peace Corps, Amnesty International, or another travel?: Nope, sadly.
5. Do you give money to the homeless on the street?: Never have actually, because I never had any money when I met one, and there aren't any where I live.
6. Have you ever helped out a friend with basic needs, like rent or food?: Nope. Everyone I know is rich enough to fend for themselves and a few others, or are pretty good where they are.
7. What's the greatest extent you've gone to help a friend in need?: Actually... This is sort of embarrassing, but one of my friend got blue balls, and so I took the time to find a room for him and leaved him to it... If you don't count that, help someone get a girlfriend.
FORTITUDE
1. What are you most afraid of?: Confusion. That's pretty much it.
2. What did you do today that was really brave?: Er... Nothing I guess.
3. Who is your favorite superhero, and why?: I have none.
4. Would you put your life in danger to rescue someone?: Yes. Heart transplant, lung transplant, take a bullet, a knife, even drown. But then again, I only will if I certainly know they will live after I die.
5. If you were to face the Wizard, would you want more courage, more brains, or more heart?: What type of question is this? Anyway, knowledge is power.
6. Have you ever gotten stage fright? If so, when?: Yep, whenever I have to perform or give an oral presentation.
7. Do you consider yourself to be a leader or a follower?: More of a follower, since I accommodate so much.
JUSTICE
1. Have you ever been summoned for jury duty?: Nope.
2. If they reinstituted the draft (for both genders), would you go, or would find some way out of it?: I'd find some way out of it, because I know I'm no good with guns or physical strength.
3. Do you support capital punishment (the death penalty)?: Never will I ever. Funny, this reminds me when my homeroom was having one of those character education and stuff. My brother and I was put with a group of people and we were asked, "A man killed somebody. What do think his punishment should be?" Our group was biasing over everything, not discussing anything, and so when or teachers asked, "The death penalty!" and my brother and I said, "Objection!"
4. Which should be guaranteed legal?: Okay, don't give me any choices. I guess equality is the main subject.
5. Do you believe that Dubya is rightfully President of the USA?: ...Is that George W. Bush? This must be old, the quiz. Anyway, I don't know much about him to actually say anything, but I do disagree with most of the decisions he had proposed.
6. What was your favorite media circus trial?: Wait, what...?
7. Have you ever written a letter to a politician?: Nope. Don't know any addresses anyway.
TEMPERANCE 
1. What do you have the hardest time moderating yourself on?: My nervous behavior.
2. Do you collect anything?: Pokemon... I rest my case.
3. Are you addicted to anything?: Magic brownies... I'm kidding. But I am addicted to drinking tea, pepsi, coke...
4. Have you ever put anything on layaway or used an installment plan?: Nope.
5. What's your preferred method of paying for things?: On time and with cash, no checks or IOUs.
6. Tell us one thing you wish you hadn't let yourself do?: Lie to people without knowing I had what I didn't know as schizophrenia. People actually believed me and now I feel like an idiot.
7. Do you feel that you obsess over things?: Pokemon, probably.
PRUDENCE
1. Who is the wisest person you know?: My other self when I was little. Not my twin brother, the one I made up when my schizophrenia was at its peak. His views were so simple and straightforward...
2. Have you ever participated in a vigil?: Nope.
3. Do you take advice when it's given?: Sometimes. If it's logical and clear, yes.
4. What area are you wisest in?: Pokemon... and sex education... don't forget math... Embarrassing.
5. Do you drive defensively?: I don't drive yet, actually.
6. What did you learn today?: The Seven Heavenly Virtues quiz wasn't as fun as I expected, and that I had survived today. 
7. And of course, what is your favorite heavenly virtue?: How should I know...

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Not long ago..., Writing Contest, and Progress [Update]

Really now... Really?
I haven't posted something in maybe 53 days...

I feel like teas is good drink right now...

Most of it was at the birthday party of my cousins' about an hour and a half south from my city, the even more southern part of North America, where the area is filled with "Go to Church or Go to Hell" and "† Jesus Saves " signs and children who have only read the Holy Bibles Genesis and Exodus (Just the main parts too) or who haven't read any and just follows what their parents say... Sorry if I insulted someone, I don't really mean it, I just don't like it when people don't look at the full scope of something they believe, or just do stuff out of fear. Again, sorry if I insulted someone.
On to what I was saying... My cousin, the main one, is about ten (or eleven... I don't know anymore) and so is his other friends, some maybe twelve, some maybe nine, albeit it was actually fun to be away from technology and relive childhood the way I wanted to turn out, since none of the children actually know me as the others do back at my city, the lonely person who just sat and watched the others play because he didn't like fairy princesses or sports. They encouraged me to play with them, even though they found out I didn't believe in any gods, I hate physical sports, or that I have an unstable physical body. (My cousin and little brother has a big mouth, and not to mention I kept cracking a bone when I walked up a hill and twisted my ankle every time I walked down hill.)
They didn't care about it, even though they hate it, they don't use it as an excuse to hate me.
Anyway, I found something. fear isn't one of those emotions I've been able to control since childhood like how I was with anger, it's one of those emotions where you just don't know anymore.
~
I've been busying myself with the annual state writing contest for students. It's completed, posted, and the results shall be here in the middle of May, which annoyed me how time moves so quickly now but slow when you think about it. It went through five drafts and today a classmate found two measly mistakes that I flipped over and smashed my skull against the desks... I forgot to include a word, like: "Are you having good day?" instead, "Are you having a good day?" It's too late to change it now...
Anyway, most people mistaken my thoughts of reason for entering this contest. Some think I just want the money. I just want the thought of having gotten to at least third place.
My story is 38 pages, while many others in my class (that was forced to enter) wrote a one-page poem. I haven't seen any of their entries, but most just stirred something in their heads just because they didn't want anything to jeopardize their grade. I would love to read them, but something is telling me not to, while something is also telling me to let people read mine. I don't know.
~
Anyway, the story I entered is called Beelzebub, and pretty much all I can say.

As for the short story collection I had in mind, I'm still thinking of going with it, but I realized I'm no good in horror, just creating dark tales. And I thought about my memoirs, and decided against writing up an autobiography, Child Rage Grows Thickly Kind and Creatures of My Childhood. I've decided to just use those times and make a story based on it, that way, I can choose my own ending and start. And I also have a confession... Beelzebub was based from what was originally Creatures of My Childhood. Only the actual monsters introduced in Beelzebub is true at least in my account of a slight demented and schizophrenic childhood, except for one monster I changed from a Gorgosaurus to a reptilian man. The whole storyline is, however, flop, and by flop, fake.
~
Onto the main progress of the collection, I've also decided to change poems into short stories.
I've also spent my time too much on Beelzebub, so I got nothing else actually into much progress... 
~
In the end I would like to say this... The yearly gigantic storm is here, and everybody is flipping tables when they haven't noticed it's about time for the storm to have happened. Well, at least then the garbage can from the neighborhood behind me hasn't flown by the wind uphill, down a block, and flooded downhill in front of the building I live in like last year...

Saturday, February 16, 2013

Writer's Club, Persecution, a Family of Friends [Update]

I learned a lot in this month's meeting. The point of view is an important structure, but may be hard to control. Many authors may write within their limit, like a male author might just make novels with a main male protagonist. Though, it is great to write about stuff that's out of your comfort zone, like an exercise.

I also learned that people of today's age now expect the hook of novels to be within 30 pages, sometimes some expect the first page. It's not like how in the older days where people just kept reading, and most of the time finding the hook on the 100th page. As for me, I read books, but I won't give much opinions if I haven't read cover to cover.

You also need to know your world inside and out when you're creating a fantasy world...It was a while ago, I can't remember all. I'll probably remember it after tonight's sleep, where the memories go back together and piece themselves. But I suppose I'll do my best of my ability to summarize the stories I heard.
  1. A Native American's account from his memories of the 1913, when he received his first American money. It had really good characterization and description. It didn't give a whole list of historical information, which people avoid to not make it too much of a nonfiction book, but it was really good.
  2. Another memoir story. This is where I learned about point of view being very important to stretch. The author was a petite, young woman, but the story was a man's memory of a girl he liked from when he met when they were five. She was actually good at characterization of something she wasn't of. The story was where this guy remember the time when he was five, nine, around high school or college, and when the girl was dying. Romance isn't really my taste, but it was really good.
  3. Half of the first chapter of a novel an author's creating. It was of fantasy. Really great descriptions, but I sort of was confused, which made me curious to read more. So a great hook.
  4. This script of a dysfunctional family. The writer said he made the script so long that film makers decided against it. He later shortened it to, I think, close to but less than 200 pages. People said it was still too long, but I don't think it should be refused. It was of something that happens normally now, but people don't decide to write about, like "The Catcher in the Rye." Set in the '80s, a married couple with money problems argue constantly about jobs and everyday stuff. The writer's trying to get it into a film or something like it.
  5. This three-paged intro of two friends going into a cave. The setting's in a parallel universe to ours. There's like this terrorist group, or something along the lines, that were in the cave though. It's something like fantasy and sci-fi.
  6. An excerpt of five pages of a novel someone's working on. It's about this person who trying to look for people who will adopt him. There's talking animals and some Native American folklore, but very interesting. It didn't tell us what the animals were other than two. It was the description that helped us piece together what animal was what. Like a bear, an elephant, and an octopus.
After the meeting, I went to the mall for a social gathering... These two friends of mine are dating, and has been for a few years. It's like they still don't know much about each other, yet enough to seem like they've been acquainted for ten years or so. I wasn't saddened by the thought that my friend had love while I didn't. In fact, I don't care about dating. I was just thinking, when I do find love like they did, how would it be? I'm probably just thinking too much. The couple played with each other like they were elementary kids, yet mature... Everyday thoughts are scary.

*Sigh,* I blame walking the ten miles around the mall made the blood rush through my head, causing me to think sort of differently. I feel a bit different actually.

No, I'm not desperate, but I have been told I worry too much. Maybe that's one of those moments. Maybe the stress the school set upon the students about course selection for next year was more of a hassle than any other year. Maybe the feeling of forgetting to take my medicine last night or the side effects or forgetting for one day has something to do with it.

*Sigh*
Life is life. This is just something I have to take care of and move on. Worrying too much about it won't do good for my health... Crap, I remembered I have to run a mile Monday...

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Parable of a Poor Boy

There once was a boy,
Who wasn't full of joy

His family was the poorest of all
The boy didn't care and watched everyone fall

Then one day a red-haired boy came to him,
"I only have 50 cents with me, but you're more grim."

The boy with nothing now has something,
But why does he have a guilty feeling

The boy of red and the boy of poor
Friends now, 'till their time together's no more

The boy of poor started saving for college



(USING MY IMAGE: Just make sure you credit me, and preferably in MLA format. I suppose I'll leave the citation, just make sure you put in the date you accessed it.)

Moon, Shido. "Boy of Red." Cartoon. Shido Moon the Writer Blogspot. Shido Moon, 12 Feb. 2013. Web. <http://shidomoonthewriter.blogspot.com/2013/02/parable-of-poor-boy.html>.

(NOTE: Something I wrote in my diary about a week ago. I don't know. In a class of mine we were talking about parables, and I sort of was struck with this. I was even motivated to draw a the boy of red.)

Saturday, January 26, 2013

Writing Club and Progress.

I returned from the writing club about seven hours ago. I was the only teenager... one person was probably in his mid-to-late 20s, but everybody else was over 30 years old... That sort of things embarrassed me, but writing knows no boundaries, right? I didn't bring anything to share, because this was my first time so I didn't know what to do, but seven others shared their own excerpt from their own story/memoir, or from something else... Lets see if I can remember them...

  1. Was a 1000-words-or-less story, about the future with something about the ice caps, but their were animatrons.
  2. Excerpt from midway into one of someone's story, based on the experiences of his friend in either the Vietnam War, or World War II. The main character's a pilot, and his aircraft landed on a silent island.
  3. Someone's father's memoirs of World War II or the Vietnam War condensed into a ten-minute play, where the setting was at a campfire.
  4. Someone's stretched memoir of their past, when social phobia wasn't considered a mental illness and wasn't known by even the professors, but the girl had it and went through a lot to get it fixed with no avail.
  5. Something in the middle of a fairy tale. Too far in to tell what happened, but everyone was there already in previous meetings, so they knew what happened... That, or I was too busy nagging myself since I got a text message yet I was being polite not to look at it until later, but that ended up making me worry... I worry for small things...
  6. Beginning of a short story where a mother just got news there was an office shooting where her husband works. Caught his son his friend wrestling, told them everything's okay, and she went off to the office, where she found out the perpetrators where people whom had a meeting with her husband this day.
  7. Prologue of a story where a professor thinks back to his college years where he and his friends could link dreams to each other and actually be in them (spending their time sleeping in class rather than studying). But one time his friend was too into his dream so he couldn't get out, and coma time for his life.
That's about it. Other than my mother calling me in the midst of the meeting, nothing else that embarrassed me happened.

And onto my progress of the collection of short stories. I got a listing and sorted them out onto a bit like a table of contents in my notepad. But the stories with title changes are:
 Truth of Darkness -> Black Light of Peace
Lies of Light -> White Darkness
Questions from a Madman -> Child Rage Grows Thickly Kind
Creature of My Childhood -> Creatures of my Childhood
"I Don't Talk to Myself" -> An Abrupt End to Peace
Memory of Flame -> KOBOLDS
Norway Beast -> Beast of Norway
I've also added three new pieces into the list:
Secret Sword of Keldonypt
Psychekrixi
Duo Mundi
And now I shall organize them...:
Short Stories: An Abrupt End to Peace
Beast of Norway
Duo Mundi
Expressed Kidnapping
KOBOLDS
Secret Sword of Keldonypt
Poems: Black Light of Peace
Psychekrixi
White Darkness
Memoirs: Child Rage Grows Thickly Kind
Creatures of My Childhood

I planned to have at least 15 stories, but that's just eleven. I'll write at least a sentence-summary of each.

  • An Abrupt End to Peace- A teenager's darkest moment in life where he encounters deception.
  • Beast of Norway- A boy's life in Norway with a strange calling to pets.
  • Expressed Kidnapping- (Isn't obvious?) A kid's experience through a form of kidnappings done to his family.
  • KOBOLDS- A very young boy's new life on the country side of Germany to escape from Hitler Youth.
  • Secret Sword of Keldonypt- A gamer's party decided to take on a quest they received in a personal email, yet find there journey to be unexpected from previous missions.
  • Black Light of Peace- A poem about darkness itself.
  • Psychekrixi- A poem about headaches...
  • White Darkness- A poem about light itself.
  • Child Rage Grows Thickly Kind- A strange man appeared in a boy's dream and follows him to the real world.
  • Creatures of My Childhood- A listing and description of encounters of monsters that revealed themselves to a boy in both out and in of the dream world.

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Chances


There's a gathering at the mall
Funny how I want to go
Yet end up not showing up
But this time it was different

A hell it is to be brave
When you're scared inside
Never taking chances
That's the guy I am

Why is it so hard to stand up?
Chances of mine are blown away
Why don't I ever go when I'm free?
I'm afraid of everything

No one can ever see how I feel
If I don't give up this shield
Telling myself not to go
When I deeply want to be there

Why is there a rock in my chest
Replacing my heart as it stabs
Life's no fun in a box
Why don't I get out?

Blaming these stupid principles
Everyone is waiting
Jealousy won't get me anywhere
Leaving me with only regrets

There's people around
I shouldn't force a smile
Why am I so stupid here
Lets just see how this goes

Let's get back together next week
Maybe.
You're not into this, aren't you?
Sorry, just really nervous...

I need to get out of this shell

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Rolling Boy


In a little terrain
Where the big dirt hills came
I felt a disturbance in the rain
As I asked a question that is the same

Where the hell did you go?
It feels as if I'll soon know
What killed the doe?
Mocking me is a crimson pink crow

I grew my grain on this land
And your strange machine helped,
But now they all perish
Why do you sound so different?

Ride away rolling boy
Holding onto my mind
When the darkness turned to a toy
When were they ever kind

To the trees you rode
Why do I feel empty?
I transcribed all your codes
You don't need a cognoscente

I was always there for you
While knowing our paths would have to split soon
Yet why am I crying this black hue?
I wonder why I never was mad at the moon

Why do I feel like slipping apart?
I gave my all, but you couldn't see
So this gift you gave me years ago,
Will be cherished 'till it turns to dust

Ride away rolling boy
With your black ball of pool
When light became a foolish decoy
They thought you were always a fool

Our only desires were to be taken away
Where there's no one else to disturb
But now the wheels are in decay
By society, we were left by the curb

Just as Cinderella lied, dropping her shoe
Just as you dropped onto this bed
In this world of mixed emotions, nothing's true
Our drives were all fed

The existence of what had became
Is just enough for me to still hope
This body of mine gorws fragile
I'll crawl up the hills if I have to

Ride away rolling boy
Forgetting about me
You chased the lost hope that seeked to destroy
They all binded us to the ground, laughing as they see

All I want is you to smile deep in this dark
The warmth of our bodies together
In the sinking moon of the park
Eraser of the violet bat roams forever

Your sweet taste, dirt-like scent, and tight embrace
Shotgun of yours has blown bullets around
Flying everywhere in a disdainful grace
Yet there was no sound

I know it hurts but you don't want to stop
Though you can't go on here without aid
Something to guide your brown-haired face
Was there something I have done

Ride away rolling Boy
Knowing we'll never meet again
When have you begun to act so coy?
I believe the memories will keep me sane

Ride away rolling boy
Holding onto my mind
With your black ball of pool
Forgetting about me
Knowing we'll never meet again

Ride away rolling boy
When darkness turned to a toy
When light became a foolish decoy
You chased the lost hope that seeked to destroy
When have you begun to act so coy?

Ride away rolling boy
When were they ever kind
They thought you were always a fool
They all binded us to the ground, laughing as they see
I believe the memories will keep me sane

Ride away, rolling boy
So long, rolling boy